Goodbye Mel

Mel left us, not because he wanted to, but because his time had come. We all miss him dearly. It has been hard to say goodbye, but its all we can do.

I tried to say goodbye to Mel before he died, when he was so sick, but I couldn't say the words. All I could say was "Thank you Mel for giving me so much."

He died earlier than any of us expected. We thought he had a few more days, at least a couple. So when he died the morning of February 5th it came as a shock to us all. And many did not have a chance to say goodbye until after he was gone.

The funeral service was good. A number of us had something to say and we said it. I started with my story about my life with Mel and what he had taught me. Then Cindy had some very moving words. Linda read a poem. Big Mike had something to say. And brother Raymond shared his feelings about his hero. We didn't need a clergy person to run things, we did it ourselves, the way Mel would have wanted us to. We decorated with all of Mel's tiffany lamps. Linda, Cindy, Christina, Wayne and I had put together photo boards the nights before. We displayed them in the room. It was a very moving service. I chose to have Mel's body in an open casket. I just wasn't ready to let him go. I'm glad I did what I did. It was comforting to me to see Mel's body again. We played two songs that Mel had requested some time ago: Goodbye My Friend by Linda Rondstat, and High on the Mountain by Vince Gill. We had them crank it up as loud as they could. We wanted everyone to feel the music.

A week later we had a private family ceremony and placed Mel's cremated remains next to his mom. We all scratched a few words into the brass urn. We placed momentos such as photos, jewelry, "medication", a blank check, and notes. It was very moving and sad. Mel's date of death was now engraved in the headstone.

The next week Roger began construction on the Mel Boozer Memorial porch. A week later it was done. Everyone is impressed with the porch. Roger did a great job. Cindy had a beautiful plaque made up dedicating the porch to the memory of Mel. We had a dedication ceremony with many friends and family attending. It was a good day. Whenever I sit on that porch I think of Mel. I imagine him sitting there with me, thinking how much he would enjoy it if he were still here.

Wayne had a little ceremony in the city with friends. They released balloons and said a few things.

We all need to say goodbye, however painful it is. Mel has moved on. We must live on.

Goodbye Mel. We all love you very much.

More Goodbyes ... next time

It is sometimes hard to accept that Mel is gone. I say that because I'm not convinced that he is. Well not completely anyway. I feel like part of Mel has become part of me. I feel him in me, a part of my personality. My attitude, interests, taste, and feelings have become a bit like Mel's since he died. I've let go of a lot of things that I had held stubbornly for years. I'm very comfortable with these feelings. I don't consider myself to be very spiritual, but I can't deny these changes in my life.

Updated July 19, 1999.