Friends

Mel had some pretty nice friends. They all meant a great deal to him. As he got weaker he could only deal with the closest of his friends. Robert, Mike, Wayne, Margaret, and Don gave Mel a great deal of comfort and love. I'm glad that he had such special people in his life. When He needed them they where there, and when I needed them they where there for me too. Mel's special friends are also my special friends. I love you all and I thank Mel for teaching me the value of friendship.

Mel's very best friend, Bill Kella, died in 1991. He and Mel were demons when they got together, raising hell and having a blast. They had fun and enjoyed life. When Bill got sick Mel was there to help him. Mel was a good friend. He did all he could to ensure that Bill would finish his life with dignity and comfort. Bill was lucky to have had Mel for a friend.

Margaret was Bill's ARIS volunteer. She checked in on him to make sure he was doing OK. Thats how she met Mel. They became very close friends. When Mel was diagnosed with HIV, Margaret took on the role of ARIS volunteer again. She and Mel got together every week for years. Whenever Mel got very sick or went into the hospital, Margaret would adjust her schedule to spend time with Mel. It seemed that besides her marriage, Mel was her top priority. That became very apparent when Mel was in the hospital fighting for his life in January of '97. Margaret took 2 weeks off from work to stay at the hospital with Mel. Mel was dying and she knew it. She had to be with him. So did I. I'm so glad you where there Margaret. Thank you.

Robert and Mel had a special bond. Robert is a sweetheart and Mel knew it. Thats why Mel valued their relationship. Not long before Mel got sick, He and Robert took one last trip to Disneyland. They had a blast. They went during the week. I stayed home. I'm so glad they got that trip in. The day after they got back Mel checked into the hospital with pneumonia. Robert was so helpful, driving Mel to his doctor visits and visiting with him at home and in the hospital. In late summer of 1996 Robert and Mel were interviewed by a TV crew as they were buying "medicine" at the Santa Cruz Buyers Club. I have it on tape. Mel was lucky to have Robert as a friend. So am I. I love you Robert.

Wayne, Wayne, Wayne. If one more person says something nice about Wayne, I think I'll heave! Just kidding. And Bubby too! These two brought great joy to Mel's life. Even when he felt awful, feverish, or weak, he would gather up enough energy and desire to drive to the city to see those guys or to go to Bingo with Wayne. Mel was his happiest when he was playing Life or Monopoly or croquet, or giving a tit-twister, or just camping it up with them. He had fun, and that was important to me. I'm glad he had you two to play with. I love you too.

A poem by Wayne

On February fifth nineteen ninety seven
my best friend died and went to Heaven,
I have so many good things to say
but all the tears get in the way,
we shared so many good times past
and I know we haven't shared our last,
someday to come I don't know when
Mel and I will meet again.
"I love you and miss you very much Mel, Wayne."

Over the years Mel had many friends. Some died, some moved away, others just didn't live the way Mel chose to live. He let a few friends go. He kept the best.

More Friends ... next time